Story

Read the following Story and One Word that can explain the Whole Story...The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

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MODERN VERSION...The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper.

Opposition MP's stage a walkout.

Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Indian Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly...

Got The Answer...???




YES... You Got It Right...Some call it RESERVATION n Some call it QUOTA!

Laloo Prasad Yadav

Once Laloo Prasad Yadav sent his Bio Data to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply: Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks. Bill Gates.

Laloo Prasad Yadav jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference immediately: "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko America mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padhkar sunaongaa ? Par letter Angreeze main hai - isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo Prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet -----aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.

During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would
inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way. This was their scenario................. But if there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan.......

The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India.

They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns.

Indian technology is highly advanced.

In less than 8 seconds, Indian army detects the Pak Countdown and decides to launch a missile in retribution.

But they need permission from the Government of India.

They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet.

The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session. The LS meets, but due to several walkouts and severe protests by the opposition, it gets adjourned and adjourned indefinitely.

The President asks for a quick decision.

In the mean time, the Pak missile failed to take off due to technical failure. Their attempts for a relaunch are still on.

Just then the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because a party that was giving outside support... withdraws it.

The President asks the PM to prove his majority within a week.

As the ruling party fails to win the confidence vote, a caretaker government is installed.

The caretaker PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch a nuclear missile.

But the Election Commission says that a caretaker government can not take such a decision because elections are at hand.

A Public Interest Litigation is filed in the Supreme Court alleging misuse of power by the Election Commission.

The Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says the acting PM is authorized to take this decision in view of the emergency facing the nation.

Just then one of the Pak missiles successfully took off, but it fell 367 miles away from the target, on its own government building at 11.00AM.

Fortunately, there were no casualties as no employee had reached the office that early.

In any case, the nuclear core of the missile had detached somewhere in flight.

The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China and USA

The Indian Government, taking no chances, decides to launch a nuclear missile of its own, after convening an all-party meeting.

This time all the parties agree. I

ts three months since the army had sought permission. But as preparations begin, "pro-humanity", "anti-nuclear" activists come out against the Government's decision.

Human chains are formed and Rasta rokos organised.

In California and Washington endless e-mails are sent to Indians condemning the government and mentioning "Please forward it to as many Indians as possible".

On the Pakistan side, the missiles kept malfunctioning. Some missiles deviate from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind blowing over Rajasthan.

Many of them land in the Indian Ocean killing some fishes.

A missile (smuggled from USA) is pressed into service.

Since the Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, it hits its original destination : Russia

Russia successfully intercepts the missile and in retaliation launches a nuclear missile towards Islamabad.

The missile hits the target and creates havoc.

Pakistan cries for help. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of Parle-G biscuits.

Thus India never gets to launch the missile.

Pakistan never gets it right. And......... !!!! we live happily ever after !!!!

Bush on the prowl

During practice rounds in Beijing, President Bush discussed foreign policy with U.S. beach volleyballer Misty May-Treanor. Or was he giving her his approval rating? Outlining his plan for peace in the Middle East?

One-liners

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: 'Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.'

In a Japanese hotel: 'You are invited to take full advantage of the chambermaid.'

Outside a Budapest dress shop: 'Dresses for ladies street walking.'

In a Bangkok temple: 'It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner dressed as a man.'

In a Tokyo bar: 'Special cocktails for the ladies with big nuts.'

MASSIVE SALE. Wedding Gowns from £50. Bridesmaids from only £10 while stocks last.
North Yorkshire Gazette and Herald

FOR SALE. BOWELS. Almark Sterling. Size 2m. Stamped 07. Set of four. Little used. £55.
Eastern Daily Press.

VERY LARGE bag of boys assorted; £10 for the lot.

On Wednesday the Literary Society will meet in the Village Hall and the soloist will sing for us 'Put Me in Your Little Bed' accompanied as usual by the Vicar.
Yeovil Parish Magazine

Sloth: The final session of the Lent course on Sloth has been postponed.

Sick gift: Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled 'For the Sick' is for monetary donations only.

Fatal error: "Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case."

Espied in a hotel in Colombo: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedchamber, the management suggest to patrons that the palm court be used for this purpose."

Found hanging in a bar in Bangalore: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

A high profile crack down on prostitution is in the pipeline once the Labour Party conference is over

Police sniffer dog finds crack in woman's bottom

Woman complains that doctor she was under is getting on top of her

Seven foot doctors sue hospital over staff cuts

Enraged bull attacks red-haired farmer with axe

Woman sent to prison for eight years for sex with boys

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

President Clinton places Dick In Al Gore's hands

Man struck by lightning to face battery charge

Girl scullers set record in bringing up the rear.

An Elsan chemical toilet has disappeared from a hut at Corton's golf course. Lowestoft police are investigating the theft, but say they have nothing to go on.

One-legged escapee rapist still on the run.

Man assists police in rape of nurse.

For Sale: Diamond cluster gold engagement ring. ‘Forever’ engraved inside band. Only six months old.

The monthly Weight Watchers meeting will be held at 7pm in the village hall. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

For sale: child's stool. hardly used. Great for use in garden.

Today both south and north ends of the Church are open. The vicar will baptise children at both ends.

Meeting of the young mothers' club today. Those wishing to become young mothers please see the vicar in the vestry.

Ladies of the Church have cast off clothing and may be seen in the crypt every Tuesday evening

Killer gets life sentence plus pizza in plea deal

A New York man who pleaded guilty to murder in Oregon in exchange for buckets of fried chicken will get calzones and pizza to go with his life sentence.

Tremayne Durham, 33, of New York City, admitted last month that he fatally shot Adam Calbreath, 39, of Gresham, in June 2006. Durham wanted to sell ice cream and ordered an $18,000 truck from an Oregon company. He later changed his mind, but the company wouldn't provide a refund.

The would-be ice cream man came to Oregon and killed Calbreath, a former employee of the company, while looking for its owner, authorities said.

Durham agreed to plead guilty to murder — but only if he could get a break from jail food. The judge agreed and granted Durham a feast of KFC chicken, Popeye's chicken, mashed potatoes, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream.

After Wednesday's sentencing, Durham was to get the rest of the deal — calzones, lasagna, pizza and ice cream, his defense attorney confirmed. They will pay the tab.

Durham also got married Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the Portland courthouse. The wedding to Vanessa Davis, 48, also of New York City, was not part of the plea deal that will give Durham a chance for parole after 30 years.

Deputy District Attorney Josh Lamborn said Multnomah County Judge Eric Bergstrom made the right call in allowing the unusual plea agreement because it saved the expense of a trial and possible appeals.

Two arrested after using barbecue pit as a weapon

ALEXANDRIA, La. -A man and a woman found a new use for a barbecue pit _ one that landed them in jail. An argument over whether a third guest should stay in the house got so heated that the woman picked up the barbecue pit and hit the man over the head with it, police said.

The man picked up the barbecue pit and returned the favor and hit the woman in the head with it, police reported. The woman then told police that she picked up the barbecue pit and hit the back window of the man's car with it.

Police admit that the whole situation was confusing, but after medics treated the man and the woman, they were handcuffed, read their rights and taken to jail.

The man was booked on a charge of aggravated battery and the woman was booked with aggravated battery and simple criminal damage to property valued less than $500.